Runny Nose Reindeer
by KS Claw
Summary: When North refuses to help Pestilence, the Spirit of Disease, said Spirit infects his reindeer with an unknown illness. Now, the Guardian of Wonder has until the next Christmas to find either a cure, or someone who knows it.


North always made certain to take a two months long break after Christmas. First of all, because his faithful Yetis deserved it, and second because it gave them a chance to take care of maintenance on some of the larger machines that otherwise seemed to run permanently through the year. With the break, they could do it in their own time without getting stressed over everything else. The rest of the time was used for relaxation the way the yetis (and North) preferred it.

Today was one of those days, where they were going through a maintenance list, as teams of other yetis and elves looked over the machines. The elves, being as small as they were, were able to look for parts at the inner workings of the machine that needed replacing, while the yetis, and sometimes North, took care of the heavy lifting among other things.

North was just in the middle of talking with one of his yetis about replacing some of the mechanisms, when there was the sharp jingling of a bell, signaling that there was someone at the door. North blinked a bit in surprise, as he wasn't really expecting any guests.

"See about that cogwheel, I will go see who it is." North told his yeti, and set off towards the front door, in order to find out who it was. He could have sent an elf or a yeti, but sometimes during a maintenance day, it was nice to slip away if only for a few moments to clear your head, before you went back to work. It helped keeping you focused, North felt.

As he walked, he couldn't help but wonder who it might be. It was daytime on this part of the planet, so it couldn't be the Sandman. And Jack was busy, since he was still getting used to having believers, and a lot of the kids in Burgess had gotten ice-skates for Christmas. And it couldn't be Bunnymund, as the Pooka was tending to his Warren and getting things prepared to get his plants awakened for spring. Perhaps it was Tooth? It was hockey season, but she did have all her fairies to take care of her work for her.

For a moment, he almost wondered if it was Pitch Black, but that just made North snort a laugh. There hadn't been a hint of the Boogeyman since Easter, not since they had all seen him get dragged off by his own nightmares. And furthermore, why would he even use the doorbell, especially if he was only out to cause trouble again?

Maybe one of the yetis had locked himself out, North wondered, as he finally reached the door. It would make sense, really. Accidents happened, even in the home and workshop of Santoff Claussen. And sometimes, just sometimes, the elves liked to prank the massive yeti by locking them out from somewhere, though that was usually in the kitchens when there were freshly baked cookies on the line.

Whatever North had expected, it turned out that it was certainly not what was waiting for him when he opened the door.

In front of him stood a figure, hunched over while it leaned against a wooden staff for support. It was clad in leathery, almost bandage-like rags, and while they looked anything but warm, the figure didn't seem to be bothered at all by the cold.

The face was hidden by a large hood, and when the figure raised its head to look at the Guardian of Wonder, North found himself shivering slightly in apprehension, if not because of the crimson eyes now staring at him, then because the staff alone told him who his guest was.

At first glance, one would almost miss the mass of thin reeds that were tied at the bottom to form an almost primitive broom. They were worn and blackened from almost constant use, but they probably served their purpose well enough, North thought. Tied to the top of the staff was what looked like an old tin bell. It gave an almost bone-like rattling, as the owner of the staff bowed in polite greeting to the Guardian.(1)

"Nicholas St. North." The figure said in an almost groaning, hollow voice. "I hope I'm not intruding?"

Despite how eerie he found the sight of his guest, North managed to grin.

"Not at all!" He exclaimed, before stepping aside to allow the other inside. "Guests are always welcome at Santoff Claussen!" Especially, he thought, when the 'guest' was the current spirit in front of him.

He could feel the other smirk, the eyes narrowing in wry amusement. "Ah, but how often does one welcome Pestilence as a guest?" The other asked wryly, as it hobbled past North and into the workshop.

"Not often, I can imagine?" North suggested. The other spirit responded with a rasping "HAH!"

"Yeah it's not like I'm at the top of everyone's VIP list, amirite?" He cackled a bit, though it made it sound as if he was on the verge of an uncomfortable coughing fit. "Ah, but I kid, I kid. How is the whole Guardian business for ya? I hear you got yerself a new kid on the block."

"Indeed we do." North said, as he did his best to ignore how both yeti and elves around them were quickly scurrying out of the way. "You might have heard of him, I think. Jack Frost?"

"Nipper o' noses Frost?" The other spirit asked, sounding genuinely surprised. "Huh, well who'd have thought? Yeah I know 'im, had a clash with 'im in Alaska once. I'd watch it if I were you, boy's got a temper!" Again, he made the rattling, rasping laugh. North grimaced, but made no comment, though he knew exactly what Pestilence was talking about. 1925 had been not been one of the best years he could remember, even though it had not all been bad.(2)

Once they arrived at North's office, the Guardian politely motioned for the other to take a seat in one of the chairs, before he picked an empty cup. "Eggnog? Or perhaps something else?" He asked, figuring it would be rude not to offer refreshments. "I also have other things, if you wish?"

"Naw, I'm good." The other replied, waving him off. "My business should hopefully not take long." He sat back in the chair, waiting patiently for North to sit down opposite of him.

"A'ight, so here's the deal. I want you to bring out some toys."

North, having just sat down, raised a brow. "That is usually what I do. May I ask what you specifically mean?"

Pestilence responded with a snorting sound. "There's a couple of special places that I know about. Hell, you could almost say they're a sort of home ground for me, even though humanity's working on getting that fixed."

North frowned. He had an inkling of where the other was going with this."Places like hospitals?"

"Of a sort, yeah. Some of 'em are considered to be more like colonies." The other spirit said, nodding as he crossed his arms, the bell at the end of his staff giving an idle jingle as he did so. "Anyway, these places all have kids, and I couldn't help but notice that they... well, they get a few things now an' then from their parents, if possible. But they have never received anything from ol' Saint Nick himself."

The Guardian of Wonder thoughtfully stroked his chin. "I think I see where you are going with this. You are speaking of the leprosy colonies." He crossed his own arms, raising a brow at the other spirit. "It surprises me that you would care so much, Pestilence. Especially considering your track record back in the day..."

"Yeah yeah, I'm an asshole, I went a little overboard with ol' Bubo."(3) Pestilence replied with an exasperated tone, waving a bandaged hand as if to brush away North's words. "Never mind that, though. It's been ages since that happened, and time passes, the world turns, et cetera and what have you." The spirit huffed a bit, crossing his arms again.

"Back to the topic at hand, St. North. These kids... They're not bad kids, and they could really do with some cheering up of some sort. And frankly, I'm surprised that you've never really gone to them. I mean, it's kind of your job t' be able to take care of kids, right?"

"That is indeed true."North agreed with a sage nod. "But while I would like to help these children... I simply can not."

Pestilence frowned. "And... why exactly is that?" The crimson eyes narrowed, and there was a flash of garish teeth that were bared in a silent snarl. "Listen, if this has anything to do with-"

"I can assure you, it has nothing to do with your occupation." North said, as he stood up and began to pace. Even though, he thought to himself, that perhaps Pestilence sometimes took a little too much pride in his work sometimes. Not that he was going to be so dumb as to say that directly to his face.

"The problem..." He said slowly,"lies more with... some of the result of your work."

"But I just told ya, these kids aren't bad!" Pestilence exclaimed."Hell, most of the time they're too sick to even consider it! I oughta know, I've certainly had to watch them for long enough!"

North shook his head. "You do not understand, Pestilence." He stood up and began to slowly walk back and forth.

"As one of the Guardians, it is my sworn duty to protect children. This means in any way possible, be it to keep Wonder in children alive, or to protect them from physical harm." He paused in front of one of the many shelves, where he reached up and took down a small wooden doll, that looked like a girl in a yellow dress. He turned it gently around in his large hands, as he continued to speak.

"This, as unfortunate as this may sound, includes horrible diseases." He sighed, putting the doll gently back on the shelf. "I can not risk the health of children in the rest of the world. It is far too risky, and not just for myself! Oh I could easily protect myself, but my reindeer would be at a risk as well of carrying, and I simply do not dare take the chance!" He finally turned back, facing Pestilence once more.

"I can compromise, if you will, by making toys."North then said, making a sweeping gesture in the direction of his office door and thereby out to the workshop. "Of that, I will always be happy to provide! Then, you yourself could hand them out! The children would not know the difference."

Pestilence was silent, his eyes narrowed and seeming to glow in the darkness of the hood. Had the spirits hands not been wrapped in bandages, North would have seen that they were clenching so hard around the wooden staff, that they would have looked bone white.

"Funny. Really damn funny, St. North." The spirit finally said. But his tone indicated that he was anything but amused. In a slow, almost liquid movement, he stood up, clutching his staff between his hands, and his head tilted, so that North could see just a bit of the spirits lower half of his face. His teeth were bared, yellowed and grimy to the point that it would have made Tooth faint if she had been present.

"You made a comment earlier, about how I seem to care a whole lot about kids, despite how my work has been the most dangerous for 'em over the centuries." Pestilence sneered. "Ya think I haven't been harped a ton about that and other things since the old Dark Ages? 'Pestilence, why did the kids have to die?' 'Pest, why hasn't your disease got a cure?' 'Pestilence, give people a chance to recover!'"He scowled slightly. "Or my absolute favorite: 'Pestilence, was it absolutely necessary to poison a well so that London got that cholera outbreak?'"(4) He leaned forward at that, the bell on his staff giving a hard jangle, while giving North a hard glare with his crimson eyes that seemed to almost glow from the dark under the hood.

"Here's the deal, Guardian." The spirit of Disease growled. "I know who I am. I am the very embodiment of Disease, just as you are the embodiment of Wonder. I know that I don't exactly bring sunshine and rainbows where I go. But here's a few interesting facts for ya."

"For one thing, th' old song and dance about the different plagues? To humanity, a series of horrible disasters that took some recovering. To the spirit world, practically a massacre. To me? To quote popular fiction, it was a frikkin' tuesday." He made a sneering sound. "Do I enjoy it? Sometimes, especially when people try to come up with some ridiculous cures. Don't get me started on what Greeks would do when it came to a frikkin' cold!"(5)

"But kids?" He then started, when North looked like he was about to interrupt him, "they can't help a lot of things. And they sure as hell can't help that they have weaker immune systems. And they sure as hell aren't stupid!"

North frowned at the others tone. "I never said they we-"

"For a Guardian, you aren't really that smart when it comes to kids!"Pestilence snarled, cutting him off. "You know why kids love getting presents from Santa? Because of what you yourself represent, which if you remember right, is wonder. But getting a gift from Santa doesn't just mean that, ya know? It means something that all your other Guardians give off too, even Nipper o' Noses!" The spirit curled his upper lip in a disgusted snarl. "You obviously missed the memo somewhere, about when it stopped being important. Oh wait, that memo never happened!"

The Guardian of Wonder found himself cringing slightly at that, as the others words brought an unpleasant memory to the surface.

_"We are very busy bringing joy to children! We don't have time... for children."_

"Kids are not stupid." Pestilence said again with a low growl. "They would _know_ that the gift wouldn't really be from you. You have a way of leaving that bit o' Guardian magic behind wherever you go. All of you Guardians do! But only if you have been there in person!" He shook his head in clear disgust. "I ain't no Guardian. Ain't ever gonna be eligible for obvious reasons! But I do know that I'd be more of a hindrance than a help to those kids." He gave a rough shrug, sneering at the Guardian of Wonder. "But hey, you were at least willin' to take your time to invite me in and listen to what I had to say. So, you can have a little gift from _me_ to _you!_"

With that, Pestilence raised his staff and **_SLAMMED_** it into the floor, the bell rattling loudly. A mass of what looked like grey dust burst out from the bell, like spores from a fungi, North thought, before Pestilence waved his staff into the cloud and gathered it up, the dust seeming to swarm lightly around him, like bees would around a bee keeper, right before it seemed to swallow up Pestilence and took off, shooting quickly under the door and out to the workshop.

North set off quickly, practically bowling over one of his yeti who had been busy carrying a mass of parts for the machines, but the Guardian could only give a brief apology before he hurried on, running in the direction where he had seen a glimpse of the cloud. Somehow, he managed to follow it to the Globe room, where he just saw it disappear over the rafters and downwards, which meant that Pestilence was heading for...

"The stables!" North swore, and quickly set off for one of the elevators that would take him to the right level, alerting the yetis of what was going on.

Unfortunately, he was not fast enough. North arrived just in time to see Pestilence right at the door to the stables, and sweeping the floor in front of it with the broom part of his staff.(6) The spirit of Disease gave the Guardian and the yetis that had followed him a shit-eating grin.

"Pestilence!" North bellowed. "What have you done!"

The spirit of Disease grinned, giving a deep, mocking bow.

"Why, I simply went to leave my gift for the ones that I know will appreciate it, oh Guardian of Wonder!" He cackled. "Which would be the ones you seem to care more about, rather than kids who could have used some of your Wonder."

North's eyes widened in horror. "The reindeer..."

"That's right..." Pestilence retorted, all humor and mock politeness gone, as he scowled nastily at North. "I'm not so big an asshole, that I'm just gonna go and target all the kids in the world. So I decided to go for a more _personal_ target. And what is more personal than Santa's own trusty reindeer!" North had already shoved past him then, hurrying into the stables and looking around at the animals. At first glance, there didn't seem to be anything wrong... but then one of the bucks made a nasty coughing sound, and North could already see that its eyes were running, and its nose was clotted up, its mouth open wide as it seemed to have trouble breathing. And it wasn't the only one.

"Normally, I am all for letting things take their time." Pestilence said lazily, looking at his nails with a critical look. "But this time... I felt like skipping a couple o' steps." He smirked coldly, his crimson eyes unsympathetic. "You got until next Christmas t' get your four-legged flight engines in top shape again. But, heh..." and here he gave a nasty chuckle. "I wouldn't _hold my breath_ on that happening."

North turned his head and glared hard at the spirit of Disease. "And why exactly is that?!" He growled.

"'Cause it's an old favorite I decided to dig out." Pestilence retorted with a grin. "In fact, it's so old that it died out, long before humans started bothering learning properly how to figure out diseases. Hell, they hadn't even started getting civilized yet! So don't count on there being a special veterinary cure, or vaccine for humans while you're at it!" He cackled nastily, his bell rattling drily as he began to wander off.

"In other words, I have a feeling a lot of kids are gonna end up gettin' disappointed with Christmas this year! HAH!"

And with a nasty hacking laugh, the spirit of Disease disappeared.

_My god there are a ton of footnotes in this story. I never thought I'd be doing any of these, (okay that's a lie, but not like these) but there's a couple of historical references in this chapter alone that I thought I would make a note about, and that I hope you guys will find interesting._  
_1- Historical trivia 1: in the Dark Ages, when lepers were known for wandering the country, they had staffs with bells tied to them, to alert people about their presence._  
_2- 1925 was not the best of years. Alaska is a reference to the Serum Run of 1925, which took place in January. Among other things from that, we had Mussolini declaring his dictatorship, a couple of earthquakes, Hitler getting Mein Kampf published, two teachers getting put on trial for teaching about Evolution, and the KKK were allowed to hold a massive parade in Washington D.C._  
_Of the more positive things, The Great Sphinx of Giza was unearthed and the first television images were successfully transmitted. You can see more on Wikipedia what else happened that year._  
_3- Bubo – Comes from the Greek work "boubôn" which means groin, mainly due to the location of where the boils from the Bubonic Plague (and other diseases) shows up. Other places were the arm pits. In some places, such as Italy, the name was seen as a reference to the Pope's ring, because the bubonic plague was seen as God's punishment, especially towards children._  
_4- More specifically, the 1854 Cholera epidemic in Broadstreet, SoHo, London. The reason this happened, was because of a cesspit, that leaked fecal bacteria into the water of a local waterpump that everyone else were using. As a result, 616 people died. The works of the physician John Snow later helped influence public health and the construction of improved sanitation facilities beginning in the 19th century._  
_5- The Ancient Greeks had the __**weirdest**__ ideas on how to cure diseases. Among others, one involved tying the dried penis of a fox or a badger to your head._  
_6- Historical trivia 2: In some places during the Bubonic Plage, people believed that the Plague took the form of an old woman. She would carry a broom around and sweep on the doorsteps of houses, that were going to be infected with the epidemic._


End file.
